Intervention: Sauna Pants

First of all, let me say this: I LOVE saunas. I’ll go to the gym and after working out, I’ll sit in the steam room or the sauna until I wake up and one of my roommates is spraying me with shower water, screaming “YOU PASSED OUT IN THERE! WHO FALLS ASLEEP IN THE STEAM ROOM?!” So yeah, I love the steam room and all sauna-related activities.

Fun fact: I actually went to Baaath, England this past weekend, known for their….glass, apparently. But also also their baaaths (I’m writing it just as I say it, because it’s fun to sound pretentious). You sincerely haven’t lived until you see Europeans get WAY too comfortable with themselves in a thermal spa. Speedos all day.

And then, through pure coincidence, I was sent this:

And I was like:

You’re going to take the best/most socially acceptable part of being in a sauna (the whole being in a sauna part) and take that out of the equation, and the substitution is bright orange plastic pants?

Bright. Orange. Plastic. Pants.

You guys remember how we all laughed and laughed at Shake Weights, but people actually bought them because sometimes people are the worst? Well, America (and abroad, since that’s where I am, and I’m STILL hearing about this), let’s band together. Please, in the name of all things holy: do not buy sauna pants. I don’t care if you think it would be a hilarious gift to your friend. Sitting in a sauna is literally the least amount of work that one can do. You’re just sitting and sweating. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do to get the full sauna experience. So just do that.

(PS: I LOVE when they try to say that going to a steam room costs $65. If you’re paying $65 exclusively to sit in a steam room at any given time, then you should DEFINITELY buy these pants and wear them until you pass out.)


Posted on 02/06/2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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