Things People Say To You On Your 21st Birthday
Yes, I am experiencing a milestone birthday today! Woo! So excited, and as a result, I’ve told everybody I know. As with every birthday of significance, there are things that people are basically programmed to say. So here they are:
“Hope you enjoy your first drink! Wink wink, nudge nudge.”
Good one, person. Yes, today I will be having my first drink ever. Never had one before. Ever. Because that would be illegal.
“What’s your first drink going to be?”
Yes, a variation on the first question, but people really love asking these. I don’t know, guy, are cosmos still a thing? Again, I wouldn’t know, but I done seen them on Sex in the City on the teevee.
Every person that you encounter when out on this day will say this to you. Do not take them all up on it. It’s a trap.
“So do you feel like an adult now?”
Well, last night I actually used two breadsticks as fake walrus tusks, and I 100% see myself doing that in the very near future. So…not really.
“All downhill from here!”
THANK YOU 22-29 YEAR OLD FRIEND! I am so excited to hear that after this birthday every other birthday will be a reminder of my slow march to sweatsuits in public, getting overexcited about crossword puzzles and the grave.
And my favorite of all, from all British people:
“Happy Birthday, but seriously, why is 21 a big deal?”
We get it guys, 18 is legal for pretty much everything here. Just go with it, ok? Quit being too cool for school.