I said a Bang, Bang, Bangity Bang

Bangs. A hot topic of debate, since Zooey Deschanel made them cool again. But now, Nerd McNerdsteins in optometry are whining about them, saying they’re likely to give you a lazy eye. What?



Andrew Hogan (a leading optometrist according to The Daily Mail) told the Australian Daily Telegraph:


‘If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won’t see a lot of detail. And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic.’


Seriously, these papers are just KILLING IT with the quotes from experts. “Emo chap”? Way to use that medical jargon with us…doctor. PS: amblyotic means lazy eye. So this guy is saying that sidebangs give you a lazy eye, acting like an eyepatch and conditioning one eye to be stronger than the other. Oh really?

Wear the funky, funky eyepatch, Bret


When I first read this, I went into complete panic mode. I’ve had sidebangs for years, and this sounds straight up terrifying.

Current Twitter pic. Damn you, bangs.

Then again, it would explain why I crash into walls all the time and have no depth perception…BLAME IT ALL ON THE BANGS! Blame everything on my bangs! My horrendous driving? Not my fault! It’s my bangs! My miniscule attention span? Bangs. It’s all on my bangs. My debilitating addiction to coffee? BANGS. It’s my evil bangs!!

But then, I read further down, and apparently REAL doctors say this theory is garbage. Rats. Dr. Leonard Press told MSNBC, “The story would only be true if you had somebody young enough, and if that person never looked out of that eye – if it was blocked 24-7. The reason it’s false is that you don’t have that constant deprivation.” Well…then I guess Bieber and I need another excuse for our behavior.



Posted on 05/16/2012, in Not Sure How I Feel About, Stupid Things and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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