Timeline of a Spin Class
Apparently, spin classes are all the rage again. With SoulCycle and that other one, people are back on the stationary bikes and pedaling like there’s no tomorrow. I haven’t taken one in months and got bored of the treadmill, so I started them up again. How did it go? Let me tell you.
9:20 am: Arrive. I’m used to having to almost literally fight to the death for a bike, so I’m here early. No one else is here.
9:25- What’s their deal? Are they already inside? Nope. No one’s here. Text text text text text.
9:28- Woman arrives, I assume she’s taking the class too. Nope. Instructor. She is DEFINITELY someone who I went to high school with’s mom. Whose? Sandra? Anna something? Wait. Just realized I totally don’t care.
9:29- Took you long enough, other people in the class! Class attendance: about 10. Couple losing weight together for wedding (groom looks the very picture of sadness), 3 older women, two middle aged men and…oh happy day, a girl in her 20’s. Girl turns around: pregnant. Balls. I am alone here.
9:30- With this class, I should destroy. I have youth on my side! I’m in pretty good shape! I AM SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN ALL OF YOU.
9:35- No, I don’t need water, Mom Instructor. I am fine. I am a warrior, I think I can handle a spin class. FINE I’LL TAKE THE WATER.
9:40- This warmup was not easy. I think I have it turned up way too high.
9:50- It’s been 10 minutes?! It feels like an eternity. Bride to be is clearly about to try and race me. Game on.
10:00- Can’t. Breathe. Hill. Workout. Nightmare. Seeing. Spots.
10:15- She’s playing Nicki Minaj. FINALLY. I’M BACK, BIRCHES. Pedaling my little butt off.
10:16- All the ladies say bounce, bounce bounce, bounce. “Let’s try to control our form so we’re not bouncing.” Whatever, fun destroyer.
10:17- Not paying attention, just trying not to faint. Take your mind off of this, Sammie. Totally writing a blog about this. This sucks. I wonder if Vineyard Vines is open. I’m one million percent going after this. I definitely need a treat for making it through one hour of medium cardio. Oooh, someone texted me! What does it say…it would be bad to check my texts in the middle of the class, right?
10:20- Transitions (which are sit to stand, sit to stand) are the worst. I’m sweating like a monster. The older woman next to me asks, “Is this your first spin class?” “First in a while!” I tell her. The only reason I didn’t just pass out or lunge at her was because now I’m all momentum. I could pedal this thing back to London right now. HOLY what, it all burns. How are my legs working right now?
10:30- MERCIFUL GOD, WE’RE DONE. IT’S ALL OVER. Do not fall off the bike. Don’t…no one saw that, it’s fine.