When You Work for the Internet

The internet is like Miami. It’s gorgeous and seductive and you think you want to spend all of your time there…then you see some dude high on LSD trying to eat another guy’s face and you think “You know what…maybe I’ll spend some time outdoors/with my family.” I work for this playground of distraction, and I have noticed some things about working for websites, blogs and tech startups. I share some of these things with you, to give you a look into the glamorous place that is ‘Internet’ and dispel some of the sweeping generalizations you may have made up in your head.



All we do all day is look at cat videos.

No, that’s not ALL I do, but who doesn’t like cat videos? Terrorists. That’s who doesn’t like cat videos. So if you don’t like the posted above video of a cat riding a turtle set to “Ridin’ Dirty”, the terrorists win.


We work out of our parents’ basements.

HAH, the jokes on you guys. My parents don’t even have a finished basement.


Since internet people make their own hours, it’s SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS ERRYBODY!

It’s only shots if you happen to work for a startup or website that deals with alcohol….or web developers*.

(*Since they tend to own my life, I feel compelled to announce that I love web developers dearly and respect their work, because I have no idea what exactly it is)


We Don’t Have to Wear Pants, and essentially live in pajamas and Snuggies

Just because you don’t have to wear pants doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Every time I’ve worked for a website, also, it’s been in an office with strict “Wear Pants”  and “Don’t Throw Tuna Away into the Communal Garbage” policies.


“So, you’re basically a professional Facebooker/Twitterer?”

GUILTY AS CHARGED! I’m paid for doing something that you suckers do fo’ free!


“Does you working for the internet have anything to do with your debilitating addiction to coffee?”

What are you, my mom?


“Do you get to go outside ever?”

Of course! I was just outside the other day! Christmas in New York is gorgeous! The lights, the snow- wait what day is it?


Posted on 05/31/2012, in Kewl Beans, Me and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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