Parent Speakerphone Attack: Who’s That?
Posted by marilynmonbro
If you call your parents frequently, as I do, sometimes, you sometimes get what I like to call Parent Speakerphone Attacked. This is one of the reasons why technology is a double-edged sword. The invention of the Bluetooth in-car speakerphone has been a source of grief for people with parents everywhere. A sample conversation below.
Daughter: Hey Mom, just calling to check in, what’s going on?
Mom: HEY! JUST SO YOU KNOW IT’S BOTH OF US IN THE CAR, WE’RE DRIVING TO [Insert name of big-box store here. Doesn’t matter which one, there’s always one.]
Mom: SO YOU SAID EARLIER THAT YOU’RE STUDYING WITH SOMEONE? A BOY?
Daughter: Yeah, it’s just someone on my class. We have the same class days and it’s not-
Mom: SO HE’S JUST A FRIEND?
Daughter: Well we just started class like 2 days ago, so…
Dad: DON’T SAY LIKE.
Mom: YOUR FATHER’S RIGHT. DON’T SAY LIKE, IT MAKES YOU SOUND JUVENILE. SO YOU’RE SURE? JUST A FRIEND? NOTHING MORE?
Daughter: I wouldn’t even call him a friend! We literally just started taking this class! IT’S BEEN TWO DAYS.
Dad: WHAT’S HIS LAST NAME?
Daughter: What?! Why?
Mom: ANSWER YOUR FATHER, MAYBE HE KNOWS THE FAMILY!
Daughter: It’s Smith. His last name is Smith.
Dad: YUP. I KNOW THEM, USED TO WORK WITH THE DAD. I LIKE HIM.
Daughter: REALLY? You worked with a guy whose last name is Smith and you’re convinced this is his son? This person who is practically a stranger?
Mom: OH, HE’S NICE?
Dad: YEAH. GOOD GUY.
Mom: THAT’S GREAT, SO THE FAMILY’S NICE!
Daughter: You don’t even know if it’s the same Smith! Are you serious?
Mom: I’M SURE HE’S THE SAME ONE. OKAY WE’RE GETTING OUT OF THE CAR NOW! WE’RE AT [Insert big box store name here] SO WE’LL TALK TO YOU LATER! CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER SHE WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS GUY OKAY WE LOVE YOU BYE!
Daughter: Wait, WHAT? You told Grandma?
And with that, the ambush is over. You survived…until the next one.