Category Archives: Friends Can Be Funny

Friends Can Be Funny: The Vegan

In which the girls are hanging out with their friend’s new girlfriend, who comes with dietary restrictions.

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Friends Can Be Funny: Date Wear

Friends can by funny. Not like funny “ha-ha”, sometimes, but funny like when a guy in a Spiderman outfit is spraying people on the street with a watergun to sell “I [Heart] NY” tee shirts. They think I’m stupid sometimes (a lot of the time), but they aren’t writing this. So sucks to be them.

Polling a group of five girl-friends on what to wear on an upcoming date. (Or not date? What’s “drinks”?) The exchange usually goes something like this: “You should wear that strapless dress. The green one with the zipper? It makes your boobs look good.” “No, you look sick in green, wear the red dress. It makes you look hot.” “Jeans. Wear jeans. Just look casual. What does drinks even mean?” “Who knows, what’s his name again?” “AW! He sounds so sweet, and we found him on Facebook, I think he has a dog…” “I like his hair longer, like it is in this picture-” “He’s not photogenic…” “WAIT, no there’s this really cute picture of him from 2007” “Does he have a Twitter?” Holy mother of hidden ball tricks, I do not have time for this. We can overanalyze what it means that he pulled my chair out for me later. Right now I’m wearing seven articles of clothing, and no one has yet advised me on what to do with my hair. THIS is what makes girls late. This group of betches has not given me good advice until minute 45 when I end up wearing the black dress I was going to wear anyway when we started, blow drying my hair in Olympic record time, and running out the door. Do not even ask what this is like over text/conference call/Skype/carrier pigeon/smoke signals.

Then I ask a (read: ONE) guy friend (just for the kicks and giggles) what a girl should wear on a date. Two sentences reply: “Sundress, push-up bra. Oh, and heels.”