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The Guide to Surviving Graduations

This week has been a nightmare of running around, caps, gowns, white dinner jackets and bowties. That’s right: it’s graduation season. Some close amigos graduated from college (cue the week of celebrating then years of cornering people at parties and telling them to “STAY IN COLLEGE AS LONG AS YOU CAN, THE REAL WORLD IS THE WORST.”) and my brother graduated from high school. So, I’ve been dressed fancy and listening to speeches for days on days on days. I now think myself somewhat of an expert on these ceremonies, so here’s a guide from me to you detailing survival strategies for people who aren’t graduating but have been forced to watch other people do it.

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