Jammy Jam: “She’s So Mean”

Is Matchbox 20 part of your late 90’s nostalgia? Of course it was. And you may not have even been a fan, but you definitely remember all of the lyrics to at least one of their songs, because that’s the kind of band they are (“She says Baby, it’s 3 am I must be lonely..”) Well, Rob Thomas and company are back with a song about a batshit cray girl that they simply can’t resist. Since I am a girl who can lose her mind on occasion and be a “hot hot mess”, this song was extra amusing for me. It’s also super bouncy and danceable with is the usual criteria for a Jammy Jam. Get out your hairbrush mics and your grunge outfits, birches.

“She’s got a wicked sense of humor, can’t believe what she says. She drinks Bacardi in the morning till it goes to her head”

 

 

PS, If anyone knows where that neon bralette situation from the video is from: tell me. Tell me now.

Parent Speakerphone Attack: Who’s That?

If you call your parents frequently, as I do, sometimes, you sometimes get what I like to call Parent Speakerphone Attacked. This is one of the reasons why technology is a double-edged sword. The invention of the Bluetooth in-car speakerphone has been a source of grief for people with parents everywhere. A sample conversation below.

Diets Be Crazy

As a person who likes fitting into the clothes I’ve bought without the use of pliers/loss of sanity, I watch what I eat. Unfortunately, the zillion dollar diet industry is constantly filling my head with complete and utter nonsense about what exactly it is that I should be eating. One second eggs are amazing for you and then this week some bozo is telling me that they’re as bad as cigarettes (cigarettes, I feel the need to point out, were seen as a diet aid for decades, sooooo….) Here are some of the egregious “truths” about food and dieting that are the reason that I usually just break down and ask for a side of bacon since we’re all just going to die eventually anyway.

Fall Sports! Fall Sports! Fall Sports!

Summer is coming to a crushing end. I love the beach and rooftop bars and bathing suits and jorts and I BEYOND love flip flops (as if I won’t wear them well into fall), but I also love fall. I love scarves, plaid shirts, crunching leaves, and I LOVE FALL SPORTS! I’m in my last year of being able to enjoy collegiate sports on a leisurely basis, so let’s break down why everyone should love fall sports. FALL SPORTS!

 

And…We’re Back

After a 6 week gig in the UK packed with craziness (and some interesting Olympic stories, jeah), I’m back on American soil for good. Since I don’t forsee another long hiatus like this one, let’s all buckle down and get to what important in life: our friends, lax, funny things, news, and Hey Girl: some Gosling sprinkled in around the site. My invitation to you, my readers:

 

To see the song that is currently stuck in my head for no reason in particular, follow that jump, birches.

Packing: This is My Hell

For the second time in 6 weeks, I’m packing whatever I think I’ll need for life into one giant suitcase. I’m heading over to England to work on the Olympics (!!!!!!!!!!) and I realized that my packing routine is…sad. It’s terrible really, and lasts over 3 days like some kind of horrific religious festival. So, instead of actually getting that packing done, I’ve decided to outline my routine! With bonus packing tips! (Hahahahahaaaa can you imagine? It takes me 3 days to pack but I’m giving other people advice? Can’t. Stop. Laughing.)

Stat Girl for a Day

There are a great many things I geek out over. Shiny things, neon dresses, lipsticks, coffees, some Twitter junk, and, of course: lax. I had a fantastic time in the press box with Eamon McAnaney and Paul Carcaterra almost 2 weeks ago (they introduced themselves and my dry throat let me rasp out “I know! I’m a big fan!”, which I’m not positive they believed…), but what was I doing there? Simple. I had been tapped by the lovely man in the ESPN truck to take stats. How did that go?

Thanks a Ton, Boston Globe: Lax Bros Are Among Us

Today’s Boston Globe article on Lax Bros made me have a full-on allergic reaction. There is so much about it that I hate. Proceed:

The Best of My Next Tweet

So this site that’s been circulating the web today is actually the most amazing, laughworthy thing I’ve seen all day. Twitter can be repetitive, and sometimes we’re tweeting about essentially the same thing over and over again. “That Can Be My Next Tweet” guesses, using your tweets that you’ve previously posted, what you’re about to tweet. And mine were spot on. Yikes. Highlights below!

Monday Morning MonBRO: What The What Happened This Weekend?!

Cuse loses to Nova?

Brawl at the UNC-UMD game?

Hopkins wins over UVA? (Don’t smile TOO much, Quint.)

Justin Beiber put out a new song? Written by Mike Posner?

Somehow everyone in London this weekend was Swedish?

 

(Plus: Yeah, John Grant Jr’s goal: Rad. Very rad.)