Weddings Are A Trap

I went to my friend’s sister’s wedding this past weekend (who just so happens to be my friend, too. Lurve you Amanda!) And I came to this conclusion: Weddings are a trap. They’re held in a beautiful place, the bar is open, you get to wear beautiful dresses, and there’s all night dancing, and once the cool friends start doing it, EVERYONE’S going to want to start. I’m on to your tricks, weddings.

Diets Be Crazy

As a person who likes fitting into the clothes I’ve bought without the use of pliers/loss of sanity, I watch what I eat. Unfortunately, the zillion dollar diet industry is constantly filling my head with complete and utter nonsense about what exactly it is that I should be eating. One second eggs are amazing for you and then this week some bozo is telling me that they’re as bad as cigarettes (cigarettes, I feel the need to point out, were seen as a diet aid for decades, sooooo….) Here are some of the egregious “truths” about food and dieting that are the reason that I usually just break down and ask for a side of bacon since we’re all just going to die eventually anyway.

And…We’re Back

After a 6 week gig in the UK packed with craziness (and some interesting Olympic stories, jeah), I’m back on American soil for good. Since I don’t forsee another long hiatus like this one, let’s all buckle down and get to what important in life: our friends, lax, funny things, news, and Hey Girl: some Gosling sprinkled in around the site. My invitation to you, my readers:

 

To see the song that is currently stuck in my head for no reason in particular, follow that jump, birches.

Packing: This is My Hell

For the second time in 6 weeks, I’m packing whatever I think I’ll need for life into one giant suitcase. I’m heading over to England to work on the Olympics (!!!!!!!!!!) and I realized that my packing routine is…sad. It’s terrible really, and lasts over 3 days like some kind of horrific religious festival. So, instead of actually getting that packing done, I’ve decided to outline my routine! With bonus packing tips! (Hahahahahaaaa can you imagine? It takes me 3 days to pack but I’m giving other people advice? Can’t. Stop. Laughing.)

Working Out with Maxie

Maximus is my dog. This is Maxie:

When we got him, his ears were the same size, but he was a tiny little ball of energy. Here are things he loves: people, hunting (the slower chipmunks), cheese. Things he dislikes: water, exercise in any form. But he’s put on a couple of pounds, so I’m working out with him.

“What Is ACK Lax?” And Other Dad Gems

I talk about my mom all the time, so now, in honor of Father’s Day, I’ll talk about my Dad. He is the reason I’m Marilyn MonBRO, and has actually given me some of the best ideas I had when I worked at BroBible (and is featured in My Dad Is a Bro!) and continues to (unsolicited) throw these ideas at me. He’s also the dad who is on the sideline for every game, screaming his angry heart out for all of us. Doesn’t matter if it’s 100+ degrees in Maryland and he has already been burnt to a golf-shirt shaped crisp or 25 degrees at Hofstra Stadium in sleet and rain: he’s there. So here are some gems that I will never forget from the legend himself (with some assists from memorable fathers of pop culture)

Stat Girl for a Day

There are a great many things I geek out over. Shiny things, neon dresses, lipsticks, coffees, some Twitter junk, and, of course: lax. I had a fantastic time in the press box with Eamon McAnaney and Paul Carcaterra almost 2 weeks ago (they introduced themselves and my dry throat let me rasp out “I know! I’m a big fan!”, which I’m not positive they believed…), but what was I doing there? Simple. I had been tapped by the lovely man in the ESPN truck to take stats. How did that go?

When You Work for the Internet

The internet is like Miami. It’s gorgeous and seductive and you think you want to spend all of your time there…then you see some dude high on LSD trying to eat another guy’s face and you think “You know what…maybe I’ll spend some time outdoors/with my family.” I work for this playground of distraction, and I have noticed some things about working for websites, blogs and tech startups. I share some of these things with you, to give you a look into the glamorous place that is ‘Internet’ and dispel some of the sweeping generalizations you may have made up in your head.

 

The Guide to Surviving Graduations

This week has been a nightmare of running around, caps, gowns, white dinner jackets and bowties. That’s right: it’s graduation season. Some close amigos graduated from college (cue the week of celebrating then years of cornering people at parties and telling them to “STAY IN COLLEGE AS LONG AS YOU CAN, THE REAL WORLD IS THE WORST.”) and my brother graduated from high school. So, I’ve been dressed fancy and listening to speeches for days on days on days. I now think myself somewhat of an expert on these ceremonies, so here’s a guide from me to you detailing survival strategies for people who aren’t graduating but have been forced to watch other people do it.

Timeline of a Spin Class

Apparently, spin classes are all the rage again. With SoulCycle and that other one, people are back on the stationary bikes and pedaling like there’s no tomorrow. I haven’t taken one in months and got bored of the treadmill, so I started them up again. How did it go? Let me tell you.